Saturday, February 11, 2006


Ideal Bride

Girls reading this should consider themselves extremely lucky if they satisfy the following criteria. They can then be considered for furthur scrutiny.

1. Should wear a purple colored bra at all times.

2. Shouldnt be dominating at all except in bed.

3. Big boobs are a big no no.

4. Should have a sarcastic in your face sense of humor.

5. Should have a liking for shahrukh khan and be ready for a threesome with him at all times.

6. Should not have a problem with passive smoking. An active interest would be an added bonus.

7. Should be regularly active on the kitchen floor. Can also cook occaionally if she so prefers.

8. Should have an obsessive interest in the anatomy of the number 69.

Monday, February 06, 2006



Im no feminist but this article I read in Salon set me thinking about some of the concerns of modern day feminism.
On one hand are the liberal (or "choice") feminists who think that the choice of women should be respected even if it is to abandon her career for the sake of home and children if it is "her" choice. It allows them the freedom of combining career and family.
And on the other is the extreme wing which thinks that the women who forego their career for the family life should be rebuked. According to them the above choice is clearly wrong and women should be denied the right to take that option. In support of their radical proposal -

1. Doing household work and taking care of children is a not enough work to challenge her capacity in terms of thought and energy.
2. Foregoing their careers and chosing family life is always the easier option for them than building their own road and that acts as a bait to deviate them from the "right" path.

To me it struck as strange that the feminists who are themselves demanding equal rights for women should curtail their right to combine family with career. Thats contradicting their very existence isnt it?
No wonder all my attempts to understand the female psyche have proved futile.

On the other end of the spectrum is one friend of mine who thinks that no intellectually stimulating reason can be found for the existence of women. Half of them are created to be fucked and the other half brutally fucked.
I think he is right too.

Thursday, February 02, 2006



Its ironic that I heavent written a single post on music considering my appetite for it, which is by all means over the top.

Music as most of you would agree is the best way to relax. Its also the best way to celebrate. To me, and most of you might not agree to this, its also the best way to do away with the frustrations of life, which are numerous to put it mildly. Take it from me, banging thy head to the gods of heavy metal is surely a better way of relieving yourself of all the tensions of your life than saying fuck you alound to the world in general as a matter of fact thing. Yea, I do that sometimes too, and it certainly helps. You heavent tried it as yet. I can only say that I pity you my friend.

I could have said that I have a broad taste in music but my distaste towards a certain sect which people like to call hip hop or rap prevents me from staking that claim, as I've never been able to classify that as a form of music which sounds more of a cacophony to me. The more I try to get over this predisposition of mine, the more disgust it evokes out of me. Apart from that, I might even sometimes listen to Britney Spears. Sadly these two kinds of music have come to dominate the present day music scene, which speakes volumes about the popular music of today. I cant say that it affects me in any way, its simply disgusting. If anyone thinks I'm too narrow minded, then well I cant help you there buddy. May God bless you.

What do I listen to. I'll let AC/DC do the talking:

In the beginning,
Back in nineteen fifty-five
Man didn't know 'bout a rock 'n' roll show,
And all that jive
The white man had the schmaltz,
The black man had the blues
No one knew what they was gonna do,
But, Tchaikovsky had the news
He said, "Let there be sound,"
There was sound
"Let there be light,"
There was light
"Let there be drums,"
There was drums
"Let there be guitar,"
There was guitar
"Oh, let there be rock!"

Yes let there be rock.

Friday, November 11, 2005


Thats an image from the recent star studded celebration of Louis Vuitton, argualbly the best luxury bags manufacturer in the world.

However, I doubt its effectiveness as a marketing strategy.
Who would notice the bags when theres so much more to see in those pictures.


Exam Time

I have no time to blog these days because most of my time goes thinking about a word which would best describe a person having three buttocks.
Just kidding, thats monty python effect, but my curiousity above is not entirely useless. There have been human wonders having more than the normal supply of body parts, what if someone did have a 50 percent extra in terms of posterior.
If you happen to think this is perverted thinking, you havent really experienced exam time paranoia. People have been known to indulge in acts compared to which what you have just read is peanuts.
As a matter of fact, during times of extreme crisis such as this one, a major part of the time of some is spent on coming up with innovative and creative expletives and hurling them at anyone within sight. These people firmly believe that the total amount of tension is a constant and hence they are relaxing themselves by making others tense.
Others tend to get involved in more scientific pursuits like building a time machine so that they can go back in time and correct the most horrible mistake they ever did in life by coming to this college.
Then there are those who in distressing times such as these realize suddenly and to their absolute horror that they dont have a girlfriend and they feel ashamed of the same. This feeling does nothing to alleviate their anxiety and so suddenly waking up to the gravity of the situation and realising the more crucial and important task at hand they set out on their hunt for the nth time.
Some like to catch and kill brutally all the insects inside their room after failing to sodomise them.
The rest of the acts I would keep to myself for that would be too much burden for my pristine blog.

Friday, October 21, 2005



I approach this girl who is a complete stranger to me since my friends have dared me to ask her name.
me: hey wots ur name
she: my name is padma
I had expected some melodrama, ostentatious display of surprise at this unexpected and eccentric (at least by indian standards) intrusion, may be a bit of frustration. I had even engineered the ensuing conversation in my mind which was but inevitable. In the worst case, I could get hit and I had not ruled out that possibility either. But this was beyond comprehension. Anyway, relieved as I was I hastily turned back to go. But before I could leave she asked me the question which stunned me, in a pleasant way or in a harsh way it is difficult to say. The intensity of the blow was overwhelming, and I was left numb as far as feelings go. This is what she had to say-
she: (simply) wots ur cell number
me: (unable to react) aa uummm who who wot

For those of you who were naive enough to believe what I had to say above, that was merely my first attemt at a short story (ok a miniature story). Would write a longer version when I have some more time.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005



Most of the people have left the hostel for their homes during dussehra holidays but me, I'm stranded here due to the various projects. One of these I've voluntarily burdened myself with, while the other has been thrust on me by the department.

I nevertheless took consolation in the fact that at least I'll have some free time for myself. I can do all the things now freely for which otherwise it is difficult to squeeze time out of the busy schedule, like exercizing, listening to music and watching kuch kuch hota hai, and contemplating my future options, which seems pretty bleak.

Well, as it turns out theres not much to think about the future. Whenever I start thinking about the future, I invariably end up confused and in a state of incertitude, say a few bad things about myself for wasting my time and swear never to indulge in such a useless and wanton pursuit again. And this time was no different.
To be truthful, I did try to go for exercise one evening, but then I thought who was I kidding and decided instead to finish midnights children. And by the way, Rushdie is hilarious. I certainly am a great fan of his unique brand of writing.
Yesterday I watched kkhh for the nth time. Now i've lost count of the times i've watched this movie, its cliches and a mess of a story notwithstanding. I vividly remember I first watched this movie during my study breaks for the high school board exams with my mother and brother. Its spell has not weakened one bit since. SRK was my idol because of his dexterity at courting girls with an amazing ease which was truly extraterrestrial according to me back then. He continues to me my idol though not for the same reasons.
I did listen to music (24x7) during this time, mostly heavy metal. The new Opeth album, ghost Reveries and the new Disturbed album Ten Thousand Fists are excruciatingly heavy and great to listen to. It certainly helps that my neighbours are not here and so I dont have to afraid of them harassing me unnecessarily for enjoying something as innocuous as music. Of course they would claim otherwise, but what the hell. I dont give a rats ass. Banging thy head to the gods of heavy metal is certainly a better altervative of alleviating your frustration than shouting fuck you to the world in general prosaically. Yea, I do that sometimes and take it from me, it helps.

Saturday, October 01, 2005


What a pity

I hate to admit it but my awareness in sexual matters was not the best during my school days.
I would always laugh along whenever my frinds would crack any riske joke which they did with metronomic regularity, pretending to get every bit of it. The reality on the other hand was quite the opposite of that. More often than not, I had no clue as to the reason behind their raucous laughs and it requires skill and practise to laugh that pretensious laugh and not get caught. You have to take care never to look directly at anybody in the group for too long, gently pass the glance from one to another or just look into oblivion. I never told them about my ignorance for the fear that they might think that I was stupid. I wanted them to find that out on their own.

I clearly remember one of these incidents when I was reading a magazine with some of my friends in the library. We accidentally came across a condom advertisement. They burst into peels of supressed laughter pointing to the condom in the advertisement. I joined them in their revelry wondering all the time what in the name of god is wrong with them. The idea that an innocuous nipple ( The rubber cap on a bottle from which a baby nurses for people getting ideas in their head) for children could be the source of such intense joy was incomprehensible for me however hard I tried.

Eventually, when the effort required for the pretension started taking its toll on me, I had to turn to one of my juniors. It was humiliating all right, but my friends were capable of giving an entirely new meaning to the word humiliation. I couldnt afford to be treated as fodder for all the mockers and scoffers for the rest of my school life. A minor tradeoff when compared with the entire repercussions of the situation, that could be.

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